“What you deny submits you, what you accept transforms you.
The psychologist Carl Jung said, “Whatever you resist, persist. What you deny submits you, what you accept transforms you.” If we reflect on these words, we can understand that there can be no real change in our lives if we are not first able to recognize and accept that in which we fail.
Denial is one of the most common problems for people who are locked in a vicious circle of misery and victimization. Many people find themselves immersed in storms of constant problems and feel that everything works against them. But what they are not able to admit is that all the problems that beset them are consequences of their actions and decisions at a given point.
You are not a victim, you receive the consequences of your own actions
You are not a victim, you must take full responsibility for your actions. Even when things happen to you that are out of your hands, have a good attitude and move forward according to your abilities. The first step to a complete transformation in your life is to take responsibility, to take charge with all the consequences that implies and not to look for excuses.
Many people over the years become masters of excuses. And with each excuse they learn to victimize themselves more to the point where they can’t do anything to defend themselves and grow. The problem with victims is that they repeat themselves so much that they end up believing it.
You need to break through the victimization. Accept that you’re not a victim, you’re responsible. Because while the victims hide and run, the perpetrators take over and assume the consequences.
Accept your mistakes and move on
After you leave the victim position, this is no time to feel guilty (and again victimize yourself, this time because of guilt). You have to accept your mistakes and deal with the consequences. You’ll move forward to the extent that you can recognize and accept your mistakes.
One must forgive oneself, forgive and ask for forgiveness. There are people who go from the cradle to the grave making exactly the same mistakes, without recognizing where they have failed. They are lives that leave this world prematurely, because they did not learn anything of what they should. Acknowledge your mistakes and forgive yourself for them; if there are others involved in what is happening to you, give them your forgiveness; and finally, ask forgiveness of all those who have been hurt because of you.
True peace of mind is not achieved through denial, but through acceptance of our every failure. The greatest liar is the one who can convince himself of a lie and end up accepting it as the truth. You must stop deceiving yourself and see yourself as you are, with your most terrible faults. Accept yourself, but not to remain the same, but to recognize all that is wrong and to put your hands to work to change it. For less victims and more responsible people.