“What will people say?” the question that has most ruined dreams in the world
There has never been a more intimidating question for people of all cultures around the world. No matter how old you are, for some reason you worry about what people are going to say. And the worst thing is that many times, this question is not asked by someone else, but by you in your head.
Fear of being judged
As we grow up, we develop this terrible fear of being judged. To a greater or lesser extent we worry about what people may think of us in a negative way. Many people right now are giving up on pursuing their dreams or defending themselves by thinking, “What are people going to say?
Need to meet the standards of others
The problem is that we care about “the people”. That is, in a way, “the people” is an entity superior to ourselves. Like a great judge. In the idea of the people we represent everything that is considered good and right. We set very high, even impossible, standards and this is the recipe for disaster. We end up feeling like failures and to the detriment of our own mental health.
“People” end up being someone who has a wrong idea of the world
But many times we limit ourselves to doing or pursuing things for people who very specifically have harmful prejudices or personal beliefs. These people are quite severe in their own lives, but they have become such important agents in our lives that we have gone from admiration to fear.
Let’s say you want to be a musician, but your parents and circle of friends have chosen careers like medicine or engineering. You will probably find it very difficult to always defend your choice because doctors or engineers consider your profession less important. But without even getting to that point you will have to deal with a lot of prejudice and before you even say out loud the career you have chosen you will wonder ‘what are people going to say’.
It’s natural, you don’t even have to have low self-esteem to think about it. But “the people” in this case are your parents, who are your main moral and financial support, and your friends and acquaintances, who have chosen other careers. Many times you imagine reactions and comments that do not happen in reality, but if this is the case and it does happen, what should determine this about your decision? Absolutely nothing. This is just an example, but in general, whatever you want to do, the opinion of people who often do not have a correct view of the world, should not matter.
Have conviction, live to please yourself
The conviction to do things rests on a strong identity. Whoever has conviction can go far and at the same time keep his integrity and his inner peace. If you want to please someone, worry about pleasing yourself. Do not allow yourself to reach old age with remorse for all those things you stopped doing by thinking about what people would think of you.