Law of the Mirror: a magical solution to our problems with others
Interpersonal relationships are based primarily on emotions and feelings, which is why we do not always agree with all opinions and thoughts. Sometimes there are people whom we reject because of their actions or ideas, but the source of these negative feelings is not in their heart but in ours.
Yoshiri Noguchi is a well known Japanese couch potato who wrote a moving story in his book The Law of the Mirror, this work tries to explain that we are the only ones responsible for our happiness, besides the Japanese assures that beliefs and bad thoughts towards others have their origin in our heart.
The Law of the Mirror specifically states the following:
The outside world acts as a mirror, reflecting both our light and our shadow, being a portrait of our inner world.
Usually when we are bothered by someone else’s behavior, we feel angry and this reaction is just a reflection of our shadows. In other words, anger is against ourselves, because everything is an energy cycle that begins and ends within us.
“What you deny, you submit and what you accept, you transform.”
Carl Jung
Tell me what’s bothering you and I’ll tell you what you should change.
Whenever you’re bothered by someone else’s attitude, ask yourself why I feel that way? Why don’t I tolerate their behavior? Why don’t I like their opinions?
As you respond, make a list of everything that bothers you about the people around you, read it carefully and you will be able to see that there are some actions that you are unconsciously doing. Those individuals that we consider exasperating are only putting the truth in our faces.
The next thing to do is to list what we have to thank those people who always make us uncomfortable, they probably helped us at some point. This exercise serves to free us from negative feelings and detach us from suffering.
This practice has no time limit, to be successful you must do it as many times as necessary. You may feel that it is difficult, but it is important that you take the time to examine in detail how many of those characteristics that we observe in others are also in us. You will also realize how many times you have treated those people badly for no reason and if you want you can make one more list, stating those issues that we would like to apologize for.
The last step is to find a way to communicate with that person, whether by a call, a message, a letter or personally. The purpose of contacting him or her is to let him or her know how grateful we are for his or her existence and, in turn, to apologize for our hostile behavior. A face-to-face meeting may not be feasible, but you can write a letter and not send it to him or her, so that you can also heal a grudge and remove any negative energy from the relationship.
As you see, the mirror law is a support for personal self-knowledge and helps us to modify attitudes in a conscious way. Remember that your inner self is reflected in your behavior and your attitude will make the difference.
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