How to detect envy
Envy is one of the most negative feelings that exist; feeling it exposes the poverty of spirit of one who feels sadness at seeing that he does not possess what others do. Even for religion, envy is a capital sin that gives rise to other sins that destroy the love of neighbor.
It is very satisfying when we achieve a goal that required all our effort, however it is very unfortunate to know that people very close to us do not share the same joy; rather they feel jealousy and anger because they are not the ones who enjoy success. Nor can it be assured that we have not felt this emotion at least once, but recognizing envy and controlling the actions that result from it is part of emotional intelligence.
There are many individuals who fail to keep their emotions in balance and start behaving unkindly with their gestures and words when they see that we have achieved something they have not. The important thing to remember is that we are not capable of handling the thoughts of others, but we are capable of handling our own.
In this article we will give you 8 signs so that you can learn to recognize the attitudes of the envious and thus avoid being affected by them.
1 They minimize the importance of the success of others
For the envious, it’s never enough that you’ve done some work to achieve something. It is a habit for them to downplay the effort and refer to the results as mere chance. They have two forms of expression: indulgent or aggressive.
M.Farouk Radwan, founder of 2knowmyself.com, states the following:
The people who will envy you most are those who need what you have most
So the recommendation is to always maintain humility, but also firmness in the face of your own successes.
2 They fill you with false praise
The compliments of those who envy you will never be sincere. Always observe the posture and listen well to the words of each person who applauds your achievements. Jealous people are very easy to identify because they are often the first to praise you, and they use a sarcastic or aggressive tone that leaves them exposed.
Clinical psychologist Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., says
Unless they become indiscriminately suspicious of the praise or compliments of others, it is wise to consider whether they may have a hidden agenda to praise you. That way, you can minimize the possibility that their seemingly reliable praise is not really some sort of two-faced scam
3 They try to copy your personality
Originality is not something that characterizes them. Seeing success in another makes them try to imitate their way of acting or dressing, as they do not feel good about being themselves in front of others. If someone copies you, don’t be angry, it’s more positive if you lead them to believe in their own potential.
4 Presenting their successes
The famous writer Robert Bly states in one of his works that:
There are always people who are full of negative thoughts, not only about the others they envy (you) but also about themselves and their perception of not having achieved their goals (who often own their own business or are richer than they are).
If someone is jealous of you, they will surely try to impose their success over yours and will narrate the events with heroic acts to try to overshadow any of your achievements. To put your emotional intelligence to use, praise them sincerely and let them know that your achievements are just as important.
5 Competitiveness is a rule
The insecurity of the envious makes them very competitive. Melanie Greenberg, a clinical psychologist, describes these people as: insecure or arrogant and want to prove their superiority. The healthiest thing is for you to refuse to play their game, that leaves them completely exposed.
6 They are happy when you are wrong
Jealous people love it when you make a mistake, because you are giving them a chance to laugh at you and be glad you didn’t do it right. The simplest solution to this is: laugh first!
7 They speak ill of you behind your back
The envious are very critical and destructive, they love to talk about people behind their backs. They are even capable of inventing ways to create imaginary conflicts. Don’t stop to think about what they might say about you, confront them seriously without getting caught up in their dark energy.
8 They hate you
Sometimes there are people who hate us and don’t even know us. The explanation for this situation is that they are jealous of something they see in us that they cannot recognize in themselves. With hate there is not much you can do, the best thing is to walk away and not take into account those who radiate negativity towards you.
We hope these signs help you, we invite you to share this information with your friends through social networks. You are also free to comment on your opinion or experience.