Cutting ties with some family members is sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for yourself
Family is the most important thing we have. Our bond with each member is special and it is important to take care of it. In our family we can support each other, it is our engine to move forward, they are the ones who give us the strength or encouragement we need in the face of adversity. But what happens when it is the family that absorbs your energies and hurts you?
It’s always been said that family is the forced friend. You don’t choose them, really when you are born you do it in the bosom of a family that for better or for worse will accompany you the rest of your life. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. While you did not choose which family to be born into, you can choose whether to stay with them or not. Sounds pretty ugly really, and we make it clear that we do not intend to encourage you to leave your home, but if it is wise to move away from that hostile environment that is hurting us.
You’ve probably heard in the news about parents, uncles, cousins and even grandparents who have sexually abused some family members, mostly children. But you have also heard of parents who have killed their children, or a brother who kills his brother. There are also cases not so abominable as, criminals, drug addicts, alcoholics or charlatans within a household. Well, these are not people we definitely want to spend our lives with.
What to do about this? Many times, to avoid the family suffering, we keep quiet about what is happening to us, perhaps for fear of what they will say or of confrontation. That is why it is best to simply walk away.
Of course, you don’t have to expect to have a family member who is a drug addict, murderer, alcoholic or rapist to do it. There are many ways a family member can be a toxic figure to you. There are those who are pathological liars who are always making up stories that can often affect you directly or indirectly. Also, there are the troubled households. That is, places where the only thing that reigns is fighting, arguing and conflict. And of course, finally there are those people who fill our heads with things that lower our spirits, that is, people who harm us psychologically.
If you’re going through something like this, just walk away. Enough of carrying on with this life that’s definitely not for you. But also don’t make decisions where you can get hurt or damaged in any way. You don’t have to hurt anyone else either, just look for your independence and learn from all those mistakes so you don’t make them when you’re building your own family.
It may seem like a difficult decision at first, and it probably will be, but it is important to understand that you are not obligated to stay with people who are not valuing you and who are blocking your right to grow and achieve your purpose in life. Even if it hurts, stay away from anyone you consider toxic to you.