Steps to overcome shyness
Shyness can be charming in some situations, it can give us an aura of mystery, but when it reaches very high levels it can create several difficulties. Shyness can be due to hereditary factors, due to trauma, difficult social experiences, etc. We all have a different way of being, the goal is not to be a different person, but to master our shyness so that it does not become an obstacle to our integral development, so here we show you 6 steps to overcome shyness.
1. “Act” with confidence
Reflecting, taking some time to talk to you and defining why you are shy will help you get to know yourself better and seek the right help. You may have gone through a traumatic event, a violent experience, or your loved ones (family members) may exercise dominance over you. Identifying this will help you understand that your shyness is due to this and that you need to seek specialized help to overcome this specific fact. Once the trigger is addressed, the shyness begins to be overcome.
On the other hand, it is important to know that many people may be shy in their youth, but that shyness usually recedes as the years go by. If you were shy in the early stages, it doesn’t mean that that label should stay with you. Many times this label placed in early stages, can be taken literally and can pigeonhole us, making us believe that this is our reality, when the truth is that a label does not define us forever.
2. “Act” with confidence
Safety and sociability, like other skills, (like learning to swim, for example) can be mastered through learning and practice.
In reality, many people can feel anxious about different social situations. In fact, the goal is not to completely eliminate anxiety in a social situation; everyone can feel it at some point. The goal is for you to discard the idea that to overcome shyness you must avoid social situations. Instead, the only way to overcome shyness is to start exposing yourself to more interaction.
By eliminating avoidance, you can begin to overcome shyness. Once you have this motto, you should try to “act” with confidence, like entering a character in a play.
Many times we can feel very insecure, but we act as if it were not so. This can help insofar as others do not perceive the insecurity and this makes it easier for us to achieve favourable social insertion. We all feel insecure at many times, but the watchword is to continue in spite of it.
3. Create a list of situations where you feel most shy and then deal with them
Take note of those social situations that trigger anxiety and make you act like a shy person. Participate in short talks with new people, try just asking a stranger a question, sign up for arts and crafts workshops, and “step up” by signing up for theater or public speaking workshops.
Remember, as we mentioned in the previous point, the most effective way to overcome shyness is to expose yourself to those situations that cause you the most anxiety. By signing up for workshops and talking to new people you will also give yourself the opportunity to start from scratch and practice social skills as many times as you want until you acquire practice, confidence and spontaneity.
4. Take an interest in the rest
Yeah, what you just read. Many times, when we are shy, we tend to “close in on ourselves” and take for granted the intentions and thoughts of others, when they are not. Perhaps the reason you are “shy” is because you are too self-centered and assume that others are a certain way (we could classify them as bad, heavy, dumb, etc). But the truth is that everyone, like you, has a story to tell, reasons, and aspirations.
Arouse your curiosity to know others, ask yourself: Who are they and why are they like this? What are their interests and hobbies? This will help you to have another view of others and will also help you to generate interesting conversations.
People love to talk about themselves, having someone who is interested in getting to know us, makes them the most interesting person, the one we always want to be with, you will be the center of attention and the most sociable person.
5. Keep track of your progress
Create a list of your progress. Who did you meet? Did you start the conversation? Did you get closer to them? Were you able to maintain eye contact in a conversation?
Keeping track of your every step will help keep you motivated and in good spirits. Reviewing your list will allow you to notice your progress and you will realize that if it is possible to overcome shyness and remember that everyone has their own time to achieve it, the important thing is that you do not give up and continue trying until you feel comfortable with your socialization and the benefits this will bring to your daily performance.
6. Be nice to yourself
While shyness can be overcome, it is not something that can be achieved overnight. As you will see, overcoming it consists of a series of steps that will lead to success with time and dedication. Avoid criticizing yourself when you may be clumsy or make some mistakes. You are learning, it is your process.