Say what you want about me, it doesn’t change who I am
Living to please others is exhausting and in the long run you will find that there is nothing rewarding about it. Being nice to others all the time is like a drug, it is addictive and can make you feel satisfied in the short term, but when time passes you will notice that these complacent actions cause serious gaps in your identity and your reason for being.
Stop living to meet the expectations of others
People are always going to criticize. Many people are very pleased to find fault with others because inside they are really horrible and do not want to take the time to look at themselves and sort out their own life.
Truly happy people do not criticize others, people who have a full life are so busy building it that they do not have time to be toxic to another. On the other hand, those who are more harmful, hateful, gossiping and critical often have plenty of time and energy to do evil because they are not successful in any facet of their lives. Truly successful people do not take pleasure in the failure of others.
That’s why often those who set expectations of you and demand that you meet certain parameters are not focused on living their own lives. They have lives that are so boring, exhausting, or horrible that they prefer to live through you. So, don’t please these people by trying to meet their expectations. It’s better than disappointing them, so that by not having to focus on you they might start working on them to be a little happier.
Focus on meeting your own expectations, if you fail, you fail yourself, if you fall, you get up, if you succeed, success will never be sweeter.
Respect the opinions of others, but don’t live by them
Everyone can form an opinion about you, because we certainly don’t live in isolation in a bubble. You often interact with people at home, at the university, at work, etc. All these people have formulated opinions about you, because naturally it is easier for our brain to relate to another person or to remember them through stereotypes or conceptualization.
For example, many people may think of you as “the know-it-all” or “the boring” or “the scandalous” first thing that comes to mind. The point is, you shouldn’t beat yourself up to change the perception others have of you.
However, if you want to work on self-awareness, specialists always recommend that people ask those around them what they think of them. It is an exercise in listening and learning to perceive oneself from another point of view. It is very healthy to do so, but only from the point of view of self-awareness.
If, on the other hand, you have this problem of letting yourself be too influenced by the opinions of others and repressing who you are for fear of displeasure, you’d better back off on this. You have only one life, think about it, do not spend it trying to be who you are not.