A nail does not remove another nail: it is removed by the hammer that has driven it in
One nail does not drive out another nail, who seeks another relationship as a pain reliever only finds emotional imbalance.
Sometimes, love is shorter than oblivion. No matter what caused the breakup, the heart is hurt and it takes time to heal. Lucy Brown, a neuroscientist at Einstein College of Medicine and an expert on the brain’s responses to love, explains that on average, overcoming an emotional breakup can take anywhere from six months to two years.
The one who loves doesn’t forget another person in a couple of weeks. It takes time to forgive and forget. It’s a process. So, don’t deceive yourself, if you truly loved, allow yourself to live your process, don’t get into distractions, examine your own wounds and don’t hurt anyone else.
As long as you don’t forget, you can’t start a stable, mature relationship
Don’t use someone as a momentary painkiller for melancholy and pain. Don’t use an innocent person to distract you from the pain. You’ll only make the hole in your heart bigger as you try to drive that other nail in. And on the other hand, you will hurt someone else very much.
Healthy relationships are only built with a healthy heart. If one of the two parties is injured, it’s a breeding ground for disaster. From the lack of love you can not give love, you can not receive affection healthy either, because we only use the love of the other person as a band-aid or a painkiller.
The moments with that new person can distract you from your melancholy, their attention can make you feel a little more valued. However, you cannot truly love and be loved if your mind and heart are fragmented. What you need is time to heal.
Time to love and time to cry
So, it’s a fact that one nail doesn’t drive out another nail, but then what does? The same hammer that drives the nail in, but not in the same way. A hammer usually has two parts, one for driving in and the other for pulling out the nails. Likewise, life is made up of times, in this case time to love and time to cry.
When the time comes to love, there is a willingness to do so. The nail is driven in as we get to know the other person and have experiences, all with an open heart. When the time comes to cry and forget that person, in the same way, what is needed is the disposition. Respect this time, if you have to mourn this person as if he died in your heart do it, if it hurts too much let it hurt, if it is frustrating to remember what happened learn to remember it from another perspective.
At some point it will stop hurting, you’ll stop crying and the frustration will go away. It may take a few months, but after this process you will be completely healed. But if you decide to distract yourself from your pain with someone else, years may pass and you will still be hurting inside.