The best state of life is not being in love, it’s being calm
Peace of mind is synonymous with balance and when we mature we understand that there is nothing more valuable in this life full of dizzying emotions than balance. That’s why being in love is not the best thing that can happen to you, it’s being calm.
Socially we were taught that the purpose of our life is to find love, to find our better half, but what if we find ourselves better? Many boats have been lost in troubled waters and emotions are certainly troubled waters. Sometimes, dominated by how we feel about other people, we don’t lose ourselves.
Therefore, there is no more satisfying feeling than being at peace with what we have, with what we are and with our purposes. There is no state more fulfilling than living without stress, without pressure, without the desire to please others or without the need to conquer others. As the Dalai Lama said:
“You can never get peace in the outside world until we make peace with ourselves.”
The journey is completely interior, one must love, care for and respect oneself. When you work on yourself, everything flows so naturally that you couldn’t be calmer. And tranquility is not synonymous with passivity, on the contrary, you work and you are quite productive, but as you understand that everything is in you and depends on you are not afraid, you do not feel pressure or anxiety.
From tranquility you can love others healthily, without losing your center. You can give without emptying yourself. And most importantly, in tranquility there is no suffering or fear of hurting the other. Therefore, tranquility is much more valuable than the tireless project of finding the love of your life.
When love arrives and the foundations of our identity and our mind are not well seated, it comes in a whirlwind and happens to mess up all our emotions. We enter into a state of overwhelming anxiety, our dream is never the same and our schedules get complicated. And yes, we feel excited to have found a person. But sooner or later the disorder and the uncontrolled emotions bring their consequences, which sometimes is the break-up of the relationship and finding ourselves disoriented without knowing who we are and where we are going.
But when we learn to be calm and love from that calm, we value the present, the shared and ourselves so much that there is no room for anxiety. Emotions are lived one by one, explored and understood. We learn from each experience with a wise and understood heart and an open mind, and we learn to say goodbye if necessary. From tranquility we learn to listen, to love and to be loved without hurting or being hurt.
We sleep well, we eat well, we laugh, we cry if necessary, we love passionately at the time, we respect distances if necessary. Because when we are calm we are in the right place at the right time, our mind is focused and we don’t need anything else.