No child is happy to see their parents treat each other badly
Don’t underestimate your child, even if he or she is very young, has the ability to interpret attitudes and words with a depth you cannot imagine. And even what he does not understand at the time, he keeps in his heart to understand later.
No child is capable of ignoring a mother’s pain. Her memory can recall to death the tears shed and the most stressful moments within the home. No matter what explanation you give or what lie you try to dissuade the child from the truth, he reads your attitudes and knows that things are not right.
In fact, when we’re not clear enough about what’s going on at home with our kids, they may think it’s their fault. Even in the face of ambiguous facts, they may develop insecurities and low esteem.
Parents must respect each other to raise healthy children
The father in the house is a symbol of authority and protection. With a father’s guidance we develop social behavior, since he is our reference of strength, correction and self-esteem. When a mother contradicts his authority, speaks ill of him or betrays him, the child will surely suffer. And in the future, this child may become a disrespectful and irresponsible adult, very rebellious, who cannot recognize any authority.
Parental alienation is about turning children against their parents. It’s a crime that can leave terrible consequences for children’s behavior.
Your ex-husband may be the worst man there is, yet for your son he is his hero and a vital source of love. After a stressful separation, many mothers choose to isolate their child from his father without knowing the consequences this can have. And when it happens in the opposite direction, i.e. when the father turns the child against the mother, the consequences are much worse.
You may think you are doing your child a favor by separating him or her from the parent, but the consequences are very harmful. The way a child sees his or her mother or father is very different from the way people are perceived as a couple. The child should not take sides, it is unfair and cruel, it should be able to enjoy these two sources of love without restrictions or prejudice.
Therefore, never speak badly of your spouse or ex in front of your child, do not vent your marital problems to your child, or make him/her a witness to your disagreements.
If you want to fight with your partner or separate, keep in mind that a friendly arrangement without involving the child can be much healthier. Children believe that what they live in their homes is the truth of the world, therefore, if they live in a conflictive home, full of hatred and resentment, they will carry all that to export it to the world, because that is how they believe relationships work.
Childhood is the most beautiful time of life, let’s not ruin it for our children.