Some people don’t realize what we do for them until we stop
“No one knows what he has until he loses it,” says a well-known saying. We all have angels in our lives, people who make our lives a little easier with sacrifices we often don’t notice until they are gone. And at some point in our lives, we have been the angels who don’t always get the recognition they deserve. If you’re reading this, this last one is probably you.
At some point in our lives we have to be the support of another. And we certainly help with satisfaction at first, because supporting others gives us a sense of purpose and well-being. But at some point, we may feel unrecognized and that none of our sacrifices are taken into account. That’s when emotional fatigue sets in.
When our initiative to offer help makes us invisible
When people receive your help on a regular basis, they fall into the error of ignoring the value of your efforts. They find that your support is a right, an obligation and not a benefit that you offer from love and respect.
We can point out that people are “ungrateful,” but it’s a more humane pattern than you might think. It responds to our ability to adapt, because just as we quickly get used to people, places and things, we also get used to favors. This ability is very important because it makes us avoid unnecessary suffering, but if not handled wisely, it can be detrimental to our relationships.
Because by “adapting” to what others do for us, we can forget to be grateful and cultivate the relationship we have with them. If you feel that you do too much for a person and they don’t pay you back or thank you for anything, they are probably adapted to you, used to what you give them. He will only notice how valuable your actions are when you stop doing them.
People often only understand the things they did not value or what they stopped doing when the other one is no longer there for them, when it is too late.
Giving a lot and receiving little is exhausting
Although most religions and belief systems profess to give without restriction and without expecting anything in return, the truth is that as humans we function very differently. Our reward center in the brain drives our motivation in daily life. Without anything to receive, there would be no such thing as motivation.
In relationships there must be a balance between giving and receiving, otherwise we can quickly run out. Favours must be reciprocal and the bond must be based on gratitude and respect for the other.
Everything has its limit, even the help we give. If you’re exhausted, it’s probably time to say “enough”, or you may end up with emotional problems. To avoid these situations, it’s important that:
- Develop a balanced empathy, so that caring about other people doesn’t diminish who you are.
- Do not create relationships of codependency, act wisely and only when you are born and necessary, that people do not get used to your help.
- Don’t lose yourself in the impossibility of saying NO. Use this word and allow others to evolve by solving their problems on their own.