Blood ties don’t mean family. Family is the one who seeks you out and supports you
Mother, is it born or made? Usually the former is true. Some people are born mothers. They are mothers of their siblings, their schoolmates, their neighbors, their pets and even their own parents.
Motherhood is an instinct with which one is born. Although there are people who do not have it and can develop it during their biological motherhood, it is much better when this life force is in you before you have children.
The equivalent in men is, of course, fatherhood, while ideally we all have the instinct of brotherhood.
From all this, the question arises: Who is really my family?
Family isn’t necessarily the one who shares DNA with you. There are terrible cases of children who neglect their parents when they are older and who reappear before the irresistible aroma that often comes from inheritance. Then they are willing to tear out the vital tissue of their siblings to keep a larger portion than they should.
Is that person my family? No, of course not. Family is the person who’s there to help you deal with situations like this. Family is the one who makes you see the tools you have to defend yourself, and reaches out to those you lack. Family is the one who values you in silence, never the one who flatters you to the four winds.
The art of recognizing your family
We go through life assuming that it is our family who lives with us or who brought us into the world. Of course this is possible and I hope it is for everyone, but unfortunately human nature often leads us not to be the best family for our family.
Instead of draining our energies in trying to regain lost ties, or even ties that never existed, we should look around and begin to recognize the people who are our family.
How to do it?
Follow these simple steps and you’ll have your family with you sooner than you think:
Support: it often happens that people who boast about being your family look the other way when you need support in critical situations. However, there is always someone around you who is there to dry your tears and also to help you with your studies or communicate better with your children. That person is much more your family than the one who shares blood ties with you.
Presence: the family is the one by your side without you having to call them. When you need to claim someone’s presence insistently, then it is not part of your life.
Listen: your family really listens to you, because it shows that it has understood what you have said and surprises you by acting on your behalf according to what you have told them.
Value your opinion: Even if he thinks differently from you, your opinion is respectable to this person. He will never try to change your mind just because he doesn’t agree with your principles.
It’s a stepping stone for you to fulfill your dreams: you don’t have to do great things to help someone fulfill their dreams. Just taking care of your children while you study will be enough to get that diploma that will make a difference in your working life.
It makes you feel good about yourself: before taking action to get along with it, it will show you the value you have as a person and make you see all the potential you have.